Celebrate Independence Day in Baja LasVegastan!

Webpage Guide

Come Celebrate! -- Place, Date, and Time -- Visas -- Events -- Questions?

Come Celebrate!

Every summer, the Benevolent Dictatorship of Baja LasVegastan celebrates its independence from the USA.

No, there are no fireworks.

• The Benevolent Dictator, Head-Man-First-In-Charge Jim-Bob the Third, has forbidden them.

• Under the name of PFC Tom Streeter, he had his fill of pyrotechnics during his tour overseas (in a funny green uniform) back in 1970.

Place, Date, and Time

Place:

Come join us at our capital, Baja LasVegastopolis (completely surrounded by the City of San Clemente)! Here's how to get here.

Date:

Independence day is observed on the Last Saturday of July. (Note how conveniently this is centered between the USA Independence Day and the USA Labor Day.) This celebration next occurs on Saturday, July 31, 2010.

Yes, this date has some issues, in that:

• Baja LasVegastan was actually founded on October 31, 4004 BC; and

• the traditional celebration of Baja LasVegastan Independence Day is on July 30, the date which appears on the birth certificate of the Benevolent Dictator.

Don't worry about it!

• Check out how Independence Day got switched from Late October to Late July

• This fine idea -- traditional vs. observed -- actually came from the USA! Just because the USA is going straight to hell in a hand-basket is no reason to reject some of its better ideas -- such as having "President's Day" be observed on the third Monday of February, regardless of the traditional days in February which appear on the birth certificates of both Washington and Lincoln. Hey, the Soviet Union always observed Lenin's -- and Stalin's -- Birthdays on the traditional days. And where is the Soviet Union now? Huh? Huh????????

Time:

Festivities begin at 3:00 PM and end at 6:00 PM. You might want to leave a bit early; southbound traffic on I-5, headed to Comic-Con, can be heavy.

Visas

Visas for Baja LasVegastan will be granted at the frontier/front-door, as a matter of policy, to any respectable celebrant/alien. If you prefer to obtain your visa in advance, then please send me an email which includes the phrase "Happy Independence Day!" in the "Subject" line. That email, itself, is your visa fee. I'll print your email out and magnet-stick it onto the refrigerator along with all of the other "Happy Independence Day!" cards presented at the frontier/front-door. And I'll read the print-out of your email to the assembled multitudes along with the other cards, too. You might want to be brief and amusing.

A visa fee will be collected from all celebrants/aliens at the frontier/front-door: a goofy, hand-written "Happy Independence Day!" card:

• suitable for sticking on the refrigerator door with a magnet; and

• crayon on letter-sized blank paper is preferred; although

• magic marker on paper napkin also works well for those who prefer the "bleed-through" look.

Bribes (money, "birthday presents", and such like) will be summarily refused, and:

• the briber will be denied entrance as an undesirable alien, and/or

• will have his/her bare feet publicly immersed in whipped cream as a condition of entry.

However:

• a reciprocal invitation by the celebrant/alien to his/her next party is (by Benevolent Decree) deemed to not be a "bribe";

• nor is a small hostess present, to The Goddess Kristine, of some food/beverage.

It is a condition of your visa that you act nice, or at least talk nice. If you talk politics (other than Baja LasVegastani politics), your bare feet will be publicly immersed in whipped cream. And that goes double for religion.

Events

3:00 PM:

• The serving of traditional Baja LasVegastani foods and beverages (continues until 6:00 PM).

A little into the celebration:

• The Pledge of Allegiance to the Flag of Baja LasVegastan. Conscientious objectors -- other than dual citizens/subjects -- may respectfully and quietly stand.

• The singing of the Baja LasVegastani National Anthem, and of other appropriate songs.

A little more into the celebration:

• The Ms. Baja LasVegastan contest.

  • Beauty.

  • Talent.

  • Costume.

• The awarding of pretty good prizes (well, sort of) to celebrants/aliens who:

  •  provide an improved:

    • motto;

    • national anthem;

    • flag; or

    • other valuable contribution to the promotion of the interests of Baja LasVegastan.

    (the current ones really are pretty run-down, don't you think?); or

  • wear a suitable:

    • national costume (pick a nation; any nation) or

    • costume depicting their role in Baja LasVegastani life and lore.

Even more into the celebration:

• The presentation of Patented Nobles.

• The investiture of those what have been granted a Patent of Nobility to Worthy Celebrants/Aliens. If you have a preference as to your title, please approach me over a beer and have a scheme that would work (at least as you envision it) with available materials.

• Or contact me in advance if you'd like a scroll, ceremony, stole, headgear, or such like.

Yet more into the celebration:

• The performance of traditional Baja LasVegastani folk dances, by one or more traditionally-dressed native Baja LasVegastani dancers.

• The performance of the internationally famous Plainclothes Drill Team -- the highly-disciplined show unit of the Baja LasVegastan Imperial Benevolent Democratic People's Green Royal Republican Liberation Dictatorial Army, Field Marshal of the Armies Sir Jim-Bob the Third, Commanding.

Near the end of the celebration:

• The official reading and displaying of the Happy Independence Day! cards brought or emailed by the celebrants/aliens.

• The champagne toast, by the Benevolent Dictator, to the Benevolent Dictatorship of Baja LasVegastan.

• The serving of the ceremonial Independence Day cake.

• The putting away of the Whipped Cream.

Questions?

Please contact me.