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Celebrate Independence Day in Baja LasVegastan!

 

Come Celebrate!

 

Every summer, the Benevolent Dictatorship of Baja LasVegastan celebrates its independence from the USA. This year the celebration is on July 15, 2018.


This year we also celebrate the 184th anniversary of the disbanding, on July 15, 1834, of the Spanish Inquisition – after nearly 356 years of continuous operation. What outfit would your favorite heresy wear, now that it's legal? Wear it and get a prize!

The Benevolent Dictator will also award a prize to all who present an application for a visa, or for a patent of nobility, or for an ex post facto indulgence for their particular heresy.

Or bring your Greek Old Testament; the Benevolent Dictator turns Septuagint this year.


Place, Date, and Time

 

Place:

 

Come join us at our capital, Baja LasVegastopolis (completely surrounded by far-south Orange County)! Here is how to get here, either by car or by Metrolink train.

  • Give serious thought to taking Metrolink. 
    • The 5 (and/or the 405) on a Sunday afternoon can be nasty.
    • Yes, we'll pick you up at the station, and drop you off when the party is over.
  • Or drive if you prefer. Ample street parking is available on the USA side of the International Frontier.

Date:

 

Independence Day is observed on the Third Sunday of July. (Note how conveniently this is centered between the USA Independence Day and the USA Labor Day.) This celebration next occurs on Sunday, July 15, 2018.

 

Yes, this date has some issues, in that:

  • Baja LasVegastan was actually founded on October 31, 4004 BC; and

  • the traditional celebration of Baja LasVegastan Independence Day is later in July, on the date which appears on the birth certificate of the Benevolent Dictator.

 

Don't worry about it!

  • Check out how Independence Day got switched from mid-autumn to mid-summer.

  • This fine idea  traditional vs. observed  actually came from the USA, our vassal! Just because the USA is going straight to hell in a hand-basket is no reason to reject some of its better ideas  such as having "President's Day" be observed on the third Monday of February, regardless of the traditional days in February which appear on the birth certificates of both Washington and Lincoln. Hey, the Soviet Union always observed Lenin's  and Stalin's  Birthdays on the traditional days. And where is the Soviet Union now? Huh? Huh????????

 

Time:

 

Festivities begin at 3:00 PM and end at 6:00 PM.

 

Visas

 

A tourist visa will be granted for entry into Baja LasVegastan, as a matter of policy, to any respectable alien -- whether from the USA or elsewhere. No formal application is required. However, providing a visa application will get you a door prize (as will providing an application for a Title of Nobility). Entry will be refused only in the extremely unlikely event that the Benevolent Dictator decides  arbitrarily and capriciously, but benevolently  that you are not respectable.

 

Bribes (money, "birthday presents", and such like) will be summarily refused, and the briber will be denied entry as an undesirable alien. However, two things are (by Benevolent Decree) deemed to not be "bribes":

  • a reciprocal invitation by the celebrant/alien to his/her next party; and/or
  • a small amount of food or beverage, if your alien culture gives points to you for bringing at least something to an event like this.

Clearing customs:

  • Cell phones may be freely imported into the Benevolent Dictatorship, and need not be declared at the international frontier.
  • However, it is a condition of your visa that you step away and out onto the city sidewalk back in the USA  before removing your cell phone from your pocket or purse.
  • Yes, your visa is valid for unlimited re-entries all afternoon.

Events

 

3:00 PM:

  • The serving of traditional Baja LasVegastani foods and beverages (continues until 6:00 PM).

 

A little into the celebration:

  • The Pledge of Allegiance to the Flag of Baja LasVegastan. 

    • Aliens who choose to do so may join in the Pledge.
    • Aliens who are conscientious objectors may respectfully and quietly stand.
    • If any subject of the Benevolent Dictator fails to join in the Pledge, then ... oh, that's right; the Benevolent Dictator has yet to acquire his first subject.
  • The singing of the Baja LasVegastani National Anthem, and of other traditional Baja LasVegastani songs.

 

A little more into the celebration:

  • The Ms./Mr. Baja LasVegastan contest.

    • Beauty.

    • Talent.

    • Costume.

 

Yet more into the celebration:

  • The awarding of pretty good frontier prizes (well, sort of).
  • "Frontier" prizes?

    • Sure, just like door prizes, except that they're awarded at the international frontier rather than at the door.

    • Yes, the international frontier looks like a front door. Work with me now, OK?
  • The quality of your prize will be in proportion to your costume, application, or Greek Old Testament.
 

Even more into the celebration:

  • The investiture of those Worthy Aliens who have been granted a Title of Nobility during the past year (to include "during the past five minutes").

  • The Presentation Of The Nobles.

  • The March of the Nobles.

 

Near the end of the celebration:

  • The serving of the ceremonial Independence Day cake.

 

Questions?

 

Please contact me.



 


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