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Celebrate Independence Day in Baja LasVegastan!

 

Come Celebrate!

 

Every summer, the Benevolent Dictatorship of Baja LasVegastan celebrates its independence from the USA. 

  • This year, we celebrate the 479th anniversary of the glorious English repulse, by Our Lord Henry the Eighth, of the scurrilous French invasion of Isle of Wight on July 21, 1545.
  • If you're feeling glorious, come dressed as old Henry (or perhaps as some other Episcopalian). If you're feeling scurrilous, come as Francis the First (or perhaps as some other cheese-eating surrender monkey).
  • At least wear something orange, blue, or yellow -- the national colors of our beloved Benevolent Dictatorship.

Place, Date, and Time

 

Place:

 

Come join us at our capital, Baja LasVegastopolis (completely surrounded by far-south Orange County)! 

  • Here is how to get here. 
  • Ample street parking is available on the USA side of the International Frontier.

Date:

 

Independence Day is observed on the Third Sunday of July. (Note how conveniently this is centered between the USA Independence Day and the USA Labor Day.) This celebration next occurrs on Sunday, July 21, 2024.

 

Yes, this date has some issues, in that:

  • Baja LasVegastan was actually founded on October 31, 4004 BC; and

  • the traditional celebration of Baja LasVegastan Independence Day is later in July, on the date which appears on the birth certificate of the Benevolent Dictator.

 

Do not worry about it!

  • Check out how Independence Day got switched from mid-autumn to mid-summer.

  • This fine idea -- traditional vs. observed -- actually came from the USA, our vassal! Just because the USA is going straight to hell in a hand-basket is no reason to reject some of its better ideas -- such as having "Presidents Day" be observed on the third Monday of February, regardless of the traditional days in February which appear on the birth certificates of both Washington and Lincoln. Hey, the Soviet Union always observed the birthdays of Lenin -- and Stalin -- on the traditional days. And where is the Soviet Union now? Huh? Huh????????

 

Time:

 

Festivities begin at 3:00 PM and end at 6:00 PM.

 

Visas

 

A tourist visa will be granted for entry into Baja LasVegastan, as a matter of policy, to any respectable alien -- whether from the USA or elsewhere. No formal application is required. Entry will be refused only in the extremely unlikely event that the Benevolent Dictator decides -- arbitrarily and capriciously, but benevolently -- that you are not respectable.


That said, the Benevolent Dictator will also award a prize to all who present an application for a visa, or for a grant of nobility. Blank paper, and magic marker in our three official colors (orange, blue, and yellow), will be available at the door/international-frontier. Applications will be posted, and may also be read aloud in such a fashion as to showcase/humiliate the applicant. Neatness and creativity count.

 

Bribes (money, "birthday presents", and such like) will be summarily refused, and the briber will be denied entry as an undesirable alien. However, two things are (by Benevolent Decree) deemed to not be "bribes":

  • a reciprocal invitation by the celebrant/alien to his/her next party; and/or
  • a small amount of food or beverage, if your alien culture gives points to you for bringing at least something to an event like this (most alien cultures do not).

Clearing customs:

  • Cell phones may be freely imported into the Benevolent Dictatorship, and need not be declared at the international frontier.
  • However, it is a condition of your visa that you step away -- and out onto the city sidewalk back in the USA -- before removing your cell phone from your pocket or purse.
  • Yes, your visa is valid for unlimited re-entries all afternoon.

Events

 

3:00 PM:

  • The serving of traditional Baja LasVegastani foods and beverages (continues until 6:00 PM).

 

A little into the celebration:

  • The Pledge of Allegiance to the Flag of Baja LasVegastan. 

    • Aliens who choose to do so may join in the Pledge.
    • Aliens who are conscientious objectors may respectfully and quietly stand.
    • If any subject of the Benevolent Dictator fails to join in the Pledge, then ... oh, right; the Benevolent Dictator has yet to acquire his first subject.

  • The singing of the Baja LasVegastani National Anthem, and of other traditional Baja LasVegastani songs.

 

A little more into the celebration:

  • The Ms./Mr. Baja LasVegastan contest.

    • Beauty.

    • Talent.

    • Costume.

 

Yet more into the celebration:

  • The awarding of pretty good frontier prizes (well, sort of).

  • "Frontier" prizes?

    • Sure, just like door prizes, except that they are awarded at the international frontier rather than at the door.

    • Yes, the international frontier looks like a front door. Work with me now, OK?
  • The quality of your prize will be in proportion to its alignment with the theme of the party.
 

Even more into the celebration:

  • The investiture of those Worthy Aliens who have been granted a Title of Nobility during the past year.

    • This includes "during the past five minutes".

    • Or contact me in advance to get a formal Patent of Nobility. Suitable for framing!
    • The Benevolent Dictator will also award a prize to all who present an application for a grant of nobility, or for a visa. Blank paper, and magic marker in our three official colors (orange, blue, and yellow), will be available at the door/international-frontier. Applications will be posted, and may also be read aloud in such a fashion as to showcase/humiliate the applicant. Neatness and creativity count.

  • The Presentation Of The Nobles.

  • The March of the Nobles.

    • We use the Triumphal March from Aida as background music.
    • See the entertaining and informative YouTube video.

 

Near the end of the celebration:

  • The serving of the ceremonial Independence Day cake and champagne.

 

Questions?

 

Please contact me.

 

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