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Crumpets and Tea
And Probably Some Croquet
- When - Where - Who
- Why -
Croquet - Cell Phone Policy
Crumpets and Tea are served. Join your
fellow civilized-human-beings for a civilized-late-afternoon chat.
- The former prohibition of chatting about politics or religion has been revoked.
- The chat must be civilized, of course.
you use loud or coarse language, or discuss personalities rather than
principles, then you will be taken aside and given a talking-to.
No RSVP; no door charge.
We offer scones as well as crumpets.
Who knew that there were so many
scotiaphiles in Southern
Aye, me sainted
grandmother was, indeed, born in the auld country, in
Lasswade, just south of Edinburgh.
the scones tend to get eaten faster than the crumpets do.
- Indeed, our usual supplier of crumpets has abandoned them in favor of scones. Please contact me if you know of a supplier in South Orange County!
a friend or two!
have a grand piano available. We have plenty of
tea-appropriate music available – or bring some of your own! No disco. No country-western. You get my drift.
This civilized tea party
is usually preceded by an equally civilized round of croquet
beforehand. See below for details.
- A few of our guests bring goodies (home baked cookies or such). Most do not. Sure we do calories, but mostly we do conversation.
At our home in far-south Orange County.
Here is how to get here, either by car or by Metrolink train.
Your host: HBDM Jim-Bob the Third, the Benevolent Dictator of Baja LasVegastan.
- Your hostess (who does all of the work, and
who still likes to play tea party
just as much as she did when she was a four-year-old): The Goddess Kristine, who needs no further introduction.
Eliza Doolittle sang it
best in Without You in
My Fair Lady:
There'll be spring every
year without you.
England still will be
here without you.
There'll be fruit on the tree, and a shore by the sea.
There'll be crumpets and tea without
I can do without you.
- Or bocce. Sometimes we play bocce. And sometimes we get to talking and brewing tea, and we forget to play either croquet or bocce.
- We play between two and four individuals and/or teams.
begins between 3:00 PM and 3:15 PM on the large common lawn behind our home.
- We start when we have three croquet-playing guests, or at 3:15 if we have even two croquet-playing guests, whichever comes first.
- Later-arriving guests will be added to already-playing individuals/teams.
- If we have only one croquet-playing guest at 3:15, then we fire up the tea pot early.
- We play under Benevolent Dictatorship of Baja LasVegastan rules. Don't worry; the Benevolent Dictator will explain them to you as we start.
- All mallets,
wickets, stakes, and balls are provided.
and our guests step inside, and start sipping tea a bit early.
continues for as long as the players feel like it.
If you prefer to
continue to play after 4 PM, when the follow-on tea party formally begins,
If the first
round of play finishes before 4 PM, then we might well fire up the tea pot a
as to who beat whom at croquet is
expected at the follow-on tea. Genteel dispute, I say.
Cell phone policy:
phones are permitted. We
ask only that you step away from the party – and out onto the front
porch – before you remove your cell phone from your pocket or