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Crumpets and Tea

And Probably Some Croquet

What - When - Where - Who - Why - CroquetCell Phone Policy



  • Crumpets and Tea are served. Join your fellow civilized-human-beings for a civilized-late-afternoon chat.

  • No RSVP; no door charge. 

  • We offer scones as well as crumpets. 

    • Who knew that there were so many scotiaphiles in Southern California? 

    • Aye, me sainted grandmother was, indeed, born in the auld country, in Lasswade, just south of Edinburgh. 

    • Aye, the scones tend to get eaten faster than the crumpets do.

  • Sometimes (and especially when The Goddess Kristine -- the great tea brewer -- is out of town) we don't have Croquet, nor Crumpets and Tea. We instead have three or four hours of Coffee and Crumb Cake. Come anyway!
  • Bring a friend or two!
  • We have a grand piano available. We have plenty of tea-appropriate music available -- or bring some of your own! No disco. No country-western. You get my drift.

  • This civilized tea party is usually preceded by an equally civilized round of croquet beforehand. See below for details.

  • A few of our guests bring goodies (home baked cookies or such). Most do not. Sure we do calories, but mostly we do conversation.


  • Always on the Third Sunday of the month. 

    • Tea is served at 4 PM. Tea time, by Jove! 

  • Arrive whenever you like, at or after 3 PM. 

    • We'll ease you out between 6 PM and 7 PM. 

    • Monday is a work/school day for so many of us, eh?

  • We're likely to be dark a couple of months each year. Stuff comes up, you know?

    • We'll announce such darknesses in advance, as soon as we can, both on this webpage and in the newsletters which announce this tea party.

    • It wouldn't hurt to re-check this webpage around noon on Third Sunday.


  • At our home in far-south Orange County.  

  • Here is how to get here, either by car or by Metrolink train. 

    • Give serious thought to taking Metrolink. The 5 (and/or the 405) on a Sunday afternoon can be nasty.
    • Yes, we'll pick you up at the station, and drop you off when the party is over.


  • Your host: HBDM Jim-Bob the Third, the Benevolent Dictator of Baja LasVegastan
  • Your hostess (who does all of the work, and who still likes to play tea party just as much as she did when she was a four-year-old): The Goddess Kristine, who needs no further introduction.


Eliza Doolittle sang it best in Without You in My Fair Lady:

There'll be spring every year without you.

England still will be here without you.
There'll be fruit on the tree, and a shore by the sea.
There'll be crumpets and tea without you.
I can do without you.


  • Or bocce. Sometimes we play bocce.
  • We play between two and four individuals and/or teams.
  • Play begins between 3:00 PM and 3:15 PM on the large common lawn behind our home. 
    • We start when we have three guests, or at 3:15 (if we have even one guest), whichever comes first.
    • Later-arriving guests will be added to already-playing individuals/teams.
    • The Benevolent Dictator plays whilst The Goddess Kristine puts the final touches on the tea, crumpets, scones, doilies, and so on.
  • We play under Benevolent Dictatorship of Baja LasVegastan rules. Don't worry; the Benevolent Dictator will explain them to you as we start.
  • All mallets, wickets, stakes, and balls are provided.
  • Bad weather?
    • We and our guests step inside, and start sipping tea a bit early.
    • Please click here, maybe about noon on The Day Of The Event, for a reasonably reliable weather forecast.

  • Play continues for as long as the players feel like it.

    • If you prefer to continue to play after 4 PM, when the follow-on tea party formally begins, feel free.

    • If the first round of play finishes before 4 PM, then we might well fire up the tea pot a little early.

  • Genteel dispute as to who beat whom at croquet is expected at the follow-on tea. Genteel dispute, I say.

  • Dress code:

    • No, you are not expected to wear All White, and your host and hostess generally do not do so.

      • However, we welcome all civilized people for croquet, including Those Who Choose To Make A Statement By Wearing All White.

      • Perhaps guests who arrive at 4 PM -- for tea but not for croquet -- will inquire about your garb. What a conversation starter!

    • You might want to bring a hat.

      • That mid-afternoon sun can get intense, even in winter. If you didn't bring a hat, then you can borrow one of ours. 

      • Warning: Some of our hats are more, um ...,   fashionable/flattering than others.

      • All cameras must be checked at the door if a borrowed hat is in use.

Cell phone policy:

  • Cell phones are permitted. We ask only that you step away from the party -- and out onto the front porch -- before you remove your cell phone from your pocket or purse.


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